What is your name of your children?
Miriam 10, Maggie 7, Evelyn 3, Gavin 1
Where do you live?
Iowa
What is your favorite thing about being a father?
Just being loved by my kids. When I can be at my best, serve them well and see they way they return that spirit makes me feel like Superman. It’s wonderful to see them grow, change and develop. The time and effort (and money!) it takes to invest in them means other selfish things have to be set aside; but the returns are well worth it. When my youngest daughter asks to sit on my lap, when my 2nd oldest wants to go to the hardware store with me, or when my oldest earns a new privilege I feel like a million bucks.
What was/is one of your favorite things to do with your children?
Every Sunday night is family night. We’ll make pizza, let the kids pick a movie and enjoy just being together. The kids also love legos or puzzles. When we do small projects like that together it’s great. No stress, or pressure, just the simple enjoyment of being together.
What has been the most helpful thing for you in being a father?
A good family and church relationship. Whether it’s other couples in my small group, the community at our local church, or the help of aunts, uncles and grandparents. Having help and support means a lot. Kids get sick, schedules get messed up, I take on projects that are way bigger than I can finish alone, or I just desperately need to take my wife out for a date and some adult conversation. When these things happen having support from the community of Christ makes all the difference in the world.
What is one piece of advice you have for other fathers?
1) Let your yes be yes and your no be no. and 2) Pick your battles and always win.
Per scripture I don’t want to exasperate my kids. I want to be kind and consistent with what is expected of them, what we can do and what we can’t. As such, if I’m parenting the way I should I communicate with them, follow up with my commitments and be consistent. This gives them boundaries and will build the trust that Dad is fair and he can be counted on. To that end, kids need to be kids and I shouldn’t demand that they be perfect. It’s ok to let small, unimportant things go. Not every battle needs to be fought. However, there are times when kids need firm discipline and instruction. When No means no and obedience should be expected. These are the times that it is imperative to stand firm.
Per scripture I don’t want to exasperate my kids. I want to be kind and consistent with what is expected of them, what we can do and what we can’t. As such, if I’m parenting the way I should I communicate with them, follow up with my commitments and be consistent. This gives them boundaries and will build the trust that Dad is fair and he can be counted on. To that end, kids need to be kids and I shouldn’t demand that they be perfect. It’s ok to let small, unimportant things go. Not every battle needs to be fought. However, there are times when kids need firm discipline and instruction. When No means no and obedience should be expected. These are the times that it is imperative to stand firm.
Do you have a favorite story (something funny, a mistake you made that you learned from, a special memory, etc.) that you would like to share?
Since I don’t make mistakes, I have limited things to share here but will do my best.
Several years back Miriam was taking horse lessons. One day, the horse decided to shake its mane rather briskly. Miriam was unaware and unsuspecting of this, as it caught her by surprise she was tossed off the horse and landed face down in the dirt. I was watching from the side and saw the whole thing happen. I rushed up to her and saw right away that she was ok but didn’t want the slightest thought of discouragement to enter her mind. So I said “Hey Miriam, way to go! You’re a real cowgirl now!” The other instructors praised her as well for her first fall. Miriam sniffled a couple times but then, without hesitation, climbed right back on the horse and finished her lesson. I don’t know that I’ve ever been more proud. Miriam had every reason to quit, but she literally got back on the horse.
Bonus: Little kids need nutritious food and naps. You can save time by having your kids do both at the same time!
