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A Story Close to Home

I (Matt) have met with a lot of people about what we are doing through Oasis Community. The question I always get asked is, "Why are you doing this?" The following story is the best answer to this question. “I’m now 21, and I’m still scared.  I’m still trying to learn...

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Oasis Update

*We need to raise $15,000 to cover our architectural fees.  Click here to make a donation of any amount.* --------------------- DID YOU KNOW THAT 25% OF AGED-OUT FOSTER YOUTH HAVE PTSD? A rate higher than our combat vets. You've likely heard about Indiana's foster...

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Time-Ins Vs Time-Outs

Perhaps the reason teens isolate themselves when they’re overwhelmed instead of coming to us for help with their problems is because when they’re toddlers we isolate them when they’re overwhelmed instead of helping them with their problems.   -L.R. KnostThe...

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Parenting = Coaching

Parenting = Coaching

Coaching is one of the best illustrations that I can think of when it comes to parenting and what our roles are as parents.What do you think of when you see this list?1. John Wooden2. Vince Lombardi3. Dean Smith4. Bear Bryant5. Herb Brooks6. Dan GableCheck out these...

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Devote Yourself To New Tools — Step #3

This isn't a decision to make lightly.If we are serious about pursuing connected parenting for the sake of our kids, we have to be prepared to work hard.  As we have seen in Steps #1 and #2, everything about this approach is difficult, but nothing good comes...

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What Am I Saying With My Eyes?

Let's focus on more than simply changed behavior.As a parent, I need to regularly evaluate the effectiveness of the strategies and tools that I use with my kiddos.  It's not enough to just see changed behavior, I also need my child to be growing in relationship...

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Letting Go of Punishment (Step #2)

This is step #2 in our three-part series laying the foundation for becoming a “connected parent.” Click here for step #1 (Facing Your Past), and step #3 (Trust-Based Tools).Punishment ≠ DisciplineUntil becoming foster parents, we understood punishment and...

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Saying Yes

Think about how often we tell our kids no. Before I realized that saying, "Yes" was a parenting tool, my default answer to my kids was usually, no. Why was my answer always no, probably because it was just easier to say no.Watch this video about saying "Yes" to our...

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Every Summer Needs a Good Book

Every Summer Needs a Good Book

Summer is here and I pose the question; Do you have a good book to get you through the rest of your summer?If you are looking for a good read this summer may I recommend "Walk to Beautiful" by Jimmy Wayne? Some of you might recognize the name Jimmy Wayne and...

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Step #1 – Make Sense of the Past

Step #1 – Make Sense of the Past

Last time we talked about what connected parenting is and what drove us to pursue it. Now let's talk about how to achieve it! Attachment: What does it even mean? I don't know about you, but my exposure to the topic of attachment theory has been pretty limited until...

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